A Bad Case of Forget-Me-Nots

Sigh! Have you ever tried to forget something, but in your attempt to forget you actually end up  reinforcing the memory? Or better yet, have you ever had random memories pop up as sudden as a hiccup? They can be totally unexpected, sometimes startling, and often times hard to shake. Now sometimes you have those really good memories that force the corners of your mouth to turn up as you allow thoughts of the past to envelop your senses. And then you have those memories that make you physically shake your head as if that will force your mind to empty out all thoughts and images of what once was. Eh! I've had my share of both, but it's odd how certain events in life can be strong that no matter how much time has passed, a brief reminder can bring your right back to that moment- sort of like gravity or a crazy magnetic pull. 

Memories tied to romantic relationships tend to do that, and I am realizing this even more clearly post boyfriend #1. While I believe our separation was in our best interest, it's crazy how my mind sometimes goes back to what was, and reminiscing can be dangerous at times. I mean memories do not simply play out the facts of what happened, but they can stir up feelings and emotions that relate to that point in time. Memories and feelings cannot be boxed up and thrown away the same way that we box up old cards, varsity jackets, and teddy bears. 

There is this song called "Curious" by Andy Mineo that came out this year, and I fell in love with the work of this artist because I feel that a lot of his music could be the soundtrack to my life. I enjoy this particular song because it first reminded me that I am:

A). Not alone
B). Not crazy
C). Human
D). Still not crazy

Even still how do I cure myself of these thoughts? Do I hold my breath? Scare myself? When I change my focus, I feel that they are gone. However, when I least expect it, there they go again. Inside jokes...  Hugs... Kisses.... Why did we break up again? Hiccup! 

It's not that I want to forget, I just don't want to remember so well- maybe exercise the kind of selective memory that will help me maintain a balanced perspective. I feel that it is important to remember what my relationship taught me, but I cannot dwell on the past. The good mixed with the not-so-good times helped develop me in ways, and I appreciate the lessons. Nevertheless, I have to move on and actually apply the lessons learned to my life. I realize from all of this that if we really take time to consider how much of an impact our memories have on our future peace of mind, maybe we would think twice about what we do and who we do it with. 

"It takes a moment to make memories-a lifetime to forget them..."
 -Andy Mineo